Positivity: How to change the consequences of things you cannot change.

Emotional responses
I leant into the cupboard to retrieve my art materials. As I came up to standing, I was at first curious and then shocked, as blood streamed across my vision – my eye was bleeding inside. Just like that! I was blind in one eye and even though I knew it wasn’t permanent, my life for the next months would be severely impaired. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t see anything on my left side. Reading was a challenge – to name but a few of many things I now couldn’t do normally. Suddenly I had joined the ranks of the partially disabled. How could this have happened to me?
Emotional choices
Emotional choices
Emotional choices

Emotional Choices: How do I want to be?

Having a vital part of you taken away, whether it be physical or situational, is a recipe for disaster and deep depression. I was blind in one eye. My perfectly healthy body had let me down. I couldn’t change the fact that my eye was blind. Everything was a chore. Going to the shops was even more unappealing than it was before – dizzyingly so!

Luckily for me, I have had an amazing life where I have been intensely curious about my emotions and feelings. I choose to live my life in a ‘shamanic’ way, and the guidelines of this path remind me to ‘live in the light’ and to ‘create joy’. This is what saved me from going down the depression path. I made a clear and conscious choice to make the most of my situation and be POSITIVE.

How to be positive in a negative situation.

It’s one thing to make a commitment and another to make it happen. How did I achieve being positive in what appears to be such a negative situation?

¨       I made a choice.

I used to think that emotions and feelings just happened to me. I now know this – I can make a choice about how I feel and dissipate the emotions that arise from negative feelings. I decided that I could choose to be miserable, or I could choose to shine the light on all the positive aspects of being forced to live my life differently. I discovered that, although I had previously been excited about my plans for the year ahead, I had quite a few projects I had put off for a long time and needed to complete. I now had purpose – I had found the positive outcome of my situation.

¨       I made a commitment.

Making a clear and determined commitment is needed to help you follow through. This is true for any changes you choose to make. When make a commitment, there are two main things to consider. Firstly, write it as though it has already been achieved, and secondly make it concrete – write it down and put it where you can see it.

¨       I had a vision.

Every morning I take time to vision my day or something of my choosing. In my situation, I came to vision myself feeling contented and happy doing the things I wished to complete. Visioning is traditionally thought of as having a visual image, but it is more than this. When you vision, bring your feelings into your vision - so visioning myself creating a dreamcatcher became - me feeling the joy, curiosity, serenity, inspiration as though I was present, doing it, in my vision – focus on the positive feelings.

¨       I transformed the negative.

Shamanic practice has taught me to be consciously self-aware. This is such a great tool. It means that I notice when I’m feeling negative before it can get too much of a hold on me. I have learnt to feel into it; acknowledge the feeling and its details. Acknowledging it brings it to the light – out into the open so that I can choose that this is not how I want to be, and change my direction.

¨       And looked for positive.

In her book “Positivity”, Barbara Frederickson says that moments of positivity come in tiny windows. None of us are positive all the time, or we wouldn’t be able to operate in this world. What I have learnt from her research, is that you can catch the fleeting moment when positivity occurs. (conscious self-awareness) MAGNIFY it. CELEBRATE it. CREATE JOY with this moment.

Taking action.

Throughout life things happen to you that you cannot change. It is easy to fall into despair and become immobile.  If you’re feeling like you’re falling into a great hole, falling often feels like the path of least resistance because you have no resources to do it differently. Doing it differently requires you to step up and do something to change the consequences of those things that you cannot change. Stepping up means that you have made the choice to find the benefits and illuminate them and bring them into being. The steps above are designed to help you to act to become positive - in small do-able parts.

Because it is difficult to action new ways of being without knowing what it feels like to be that way, Life Healing Journeys provide you with the opportunity to immerse yourself in this process with compassionate guidance.

Life Healing Journeys come in many forms; individual sessions, small group circles and workshops. These are advertised on lifehealingjourneys.com.au and by newsletter.

Posted in Awareness, Change, Emotional Wellbeing, Groundedness, Healing, Self Care, Self Confidence, Self Worth, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , .

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